I don’t love the mountains
And I don’t love the sea
And I don’t love Jesus
He never done a thing for me
I ain’t pretty like my sister
Or smart like my dad
Or good like my mama

It’s Money That I Love
It’s Money That I Love

They say that money
Can’t buy love in this world
But it’ll get you a half-pound of cocaine
And a sixteen-year old girl
And a great big long limousine
On a hot September night
Now that may not be love
But it is all right

One, two
It’s Money That I Love
Wanna kiss you
Three, four
It’s Money That I Love

Used to worry about the poor
But I don’t worry anymore
Used to worry about the black man
Now I don’t worry about the black man
Used to worry about the starving children of India
You know what I say now about the starving children of India?
I say, “Oh mama”

It’s Money That I Love
It’s Money That I Love
It’s Money That I Love

They were six fine English boys
Who knew each other in Birmingham
They bought a drum and guitar
Started a rock-roll band
And Johnny played little violin
And Bobby Joe played the big violin
The one that stands on the floor
They were all in the rock-roll band
Their first song sounded like this

Please get me a witness
Please get me a witness

Right off, they needed a name
Someone said, “How ’bout the Renegades?”
Johnny said, “Well I don’t know.
I prefer E.L.O.”I love their “Mr. Blue Skies”
Almost my favorite is “Turn to Stone”
And how ’bout “Telephone Line”?
I love that E.L.O.

Have we got a tough guy here?
Have we got a tough guy from the street?
And he looks just like that dancing wop
In those movies that we’ve seen
With his cute little chicken shit boots on
And his cute little chicken shit hat
And his cute little chicken shit girlfriends
Ridin’ along in backWhat’s been happening with you boys?
Are you having a nice time on your trip?
All the way from Jersey City
And you look pretty as a picture
Please don’t hurt no one tonight
Please don’t break no woman’s heart
How ’bout it, you little prick?
How ’bout it?

Hope we’re gonna get the chance
To show you ’round
Hope we’re gonna get the chance
To show you ’round
Talk tough to me, Pretty Boy
Tell us all about the mean streets of home
Talk tough to me

Golly, Mister, where you going?
You’ll be late for work
Careful or you’ll drop your briefcase
Jesus, what a jerk
There he goes down to the subway
Off to catch the train
Too bad for him
He forgot his umbrella
Poor Mr. Sheep
You’re wet Mr. Sheep
Walk on, Mr. Sheep
Walk onTell me, how’s your little family?
How’s your little wife?
Are you going to live with those monsters
For the rest of your life?
Maybe you got a little girlfriend
Stashed somewhere in town
Maybe you ain’t got a little girlfriend
Ha ha ha ha ha
Poor Mr. Sheep
He’s a lonely guy too
Walk on Mr. Sheep
Walk on

Dance, Mister!
Hey, he’s doin’ OK
Oh, oh
Oh, he’ll be all right
Let him get up by himself
Now I don’t want to be too rough
And I don’t want to be too mean
You’re right – This world is awful tough
I know exactly what you mean
But I want you to know
Exactly how I feel
And to tell you the truth
Right now I feel like going
I feel like going
I feel like going
Baa
Baa Mr. Sheep
Careful, you’re walking all over your own self now
Walk on, Mr. Sheep
Walk on, Mr. Sheep
Walk on, Mr. Sheep
Walk on

Stay with me for a little while
You’ve nowhere to go
I’ve nowhere to go
It makes me so happy
When you smile
At me

Work all your life
And you end up with nothing
Live in one room like a bum
Once I flew in a plane
And I fought in a war
We lived in a castle
And slept on the floor
And I don’t want to be
All alone anymore
I’m sorry

Out in the street
There’s little colored kids playing
Where my own little boy used to play
So I sit in this chair
And I ache with the gout
And I talk to myself
‘Cause I’m scared to go out
And I just want to know
What was it all about
I’m sorry

Here’s an old, old story
‘Bout a man and a woman
Gone off to California
‘Cause they just got married
All their friends in Boston
Are so very happy
They’re dancing in the doorways
‘Cause their friends got married

He gets a job
Working in a car wash up in Santa Cruz
She gets a job
Teaching at a nursery school
Oh, she’s so nice
What’s gonna happen to ’em?

Soon they have a little white-haired baby
Looks just like his daddy
And they’re all real happy
A couple of years go by
She’s going to see the doctor
It’s just a regular checkup (oh no)
Plus she thinks she might be pregnant

Anyway, she dies
And he moves down to Los Angeles
Meets a foolish young girl with lots of money
Now they’re getting married

Little mama
From Japan
Sent by her Masters
To a foreign land
“Go out with the sailors
Hang ’round the dock
Get out of the way
When the bombs start to drop”
You know she’s a …

Spy
Be careful what you say, boys
Spy
She looks just like a schoolgirl

Big fat Russian
Looks like a buffalo
Check into a dude ranch
In New Mexico
Nearby in the desert
Great scientific minds
Struggle with questions
Of Space and Time
Watch out for him

Spy
You can tell he ain’t no cowboy
Spy
Vhoaaa!

If you love this country
And I hope you do
Then listen closely
To what I say to you
They’re in the shipyard
They’re in the factory
And they might look just like you
Or they might look just like me
But they’re …

Spies
Everywhere you go see ’em
Spies
They even got ’em in Chicago

Was a little girl
Maybe five-foot-two
Had the cutest little feet
Made my heart go tweet-tweet
Quite a pleasant disposition

Then came a pretty young French girl, mmm
Whom I met in Las Vegas
When I was there with my parents
Oh my
Had a real nice conversation

Met a girl at the bakery
She wanted to borrow my car from me
I said, “Take it, baby”
She took it down
To Mexico
Ran over a man named Juan

Then I went to college
Met a college girl
She lived in the sorority house
Across from the school
Got a real fine education
Had seven women on my mind

Now I’m married
Have a very lovely wife
Three cute little boys
It’s so nice
And that’s just half the story
Of the girls in my life

This big old queen was standing
On the corner of the street
He waved his hanky at me
As I went rolling by
I pulled the truck up on the sidewalk
And I climbed down from the cab
With my tire-chain and my knife
As I approached him
He was trembling like a bird
I raised the chain above my head
He said, “Please, before you kill me
Might I have one final word?”
And this is what he said:

“I am but Half A Man, Half A Man
I’d like to be a dancer
But I’m much too large
Half A Man, Half A Man
I’m an object for your pity
Not your rage”

Oh, the strangest feeling’s sweeping over me
Both my speech and manner have become much more refined
I said, “Oh, what is this feeling?
What is wrong with me?”
She said, “Girl, it happens all the time
“Now you are Half A Man, Half A Man
Look, you’re walking and you’re talking
Like a fag.”
Half A Man, I am Half A Man
Holy Jesus, what a drag

William Brown, a tobacco man
Left North Carolina when he sold his land
He took a train to Omaha
Stayed there with some friends he had

And he didn’t mind the dust
And he didn’t mind the wind
And he didn’t mind the cold
And he didn’t miss home

And he liked the people
And he liked the town
So he built himself a house beside the river
And he sent for his children
And he sent for his cars
And he bought a little business that would run itself

And he didn’t mind the dust
And he didn’t mind the wind
And he didn’t mind the cold
And he didn’t miss home

Gonna take off my pants
Gonna take off my pants
Gonna take off my pants
Gonna take off my pants
And your mama can’t stop me
And your papa can’t stop me
And the police can’t stop me
No one can stop me
Gonna do it right now
Gonna do it right now
I’m gonna take off my pants
Gonna take off my pants
And your teachers can’t stop me
And your priests can’t stop me
And your firemen can’t stop me
And the President can’t stop me
Will you take off my pants?
Will you take off my pants?